However idiotic he has been, i still feel like I've lost a fraction of my life. It may seem not so important in a few months time but now, it feels painful.
The biggest withdrawal I feel now is the connection to the group. Cutting off from the group feels difficult. Over the last 6 months, we as a group became friends and suddenly I choose to opt out.. It's pretty harsh. There is this distance that I've created and it hurts to decide to do that. I feel guilty for mistreating people.
I try to act the way I want to be treated. A principle I feel very reasonable. And now, to do this whole cut off from them to the other friends in the group, I feel awful. If I were in their shoes, I'd feel upset and confuse if someone did what I'm doing.
Why did things have to roll out like this? I rather it not have started at all. Then I won't have to mistreat these people i met and feel the guilt now.
I believe in doing just my part and the other person receiving will do theirs. As long as I gave it my all, it should return. Despite being let down a couple of times, I still believe.
No comments:
Post a Comment