Everything has changed

This post is needed to note how blinded I was in letting things go by. And alas, I got burnt by fire. I find myself wanting to prove that things are not always so bleak. That, there is hope, and sometimes alot of things turns out better than predicted. I wanted a breakthrough. But, sadly, he turned out to be that jerk he was all along.

It is not a case of that I didn't see him as one. It was a repeat case that I let him be one. I thought it would turn out different but it turned out, he disappoints, he lies and he hurts. This forgiveness or blindness that I have probably is because I always see love as love. Never thought, people can just jump ship from one to another, love was all a game, feelings as temporary. Love and concern don't return equally especially in such situations.

This episode opened my eyes and thankfully, my heart was not as open. But, I am still hurt and disappointed that there is people who can just simply say "love". It dampens my view of looking for a guy so right because these past two guys have been a disappointment. I now know why, some ladies just lose the hope in meeting the right person because they have been always meeting the wrong one. And there is only till a certain limit, one heart can take.

Looking at things in a brighter light, at least he showed his colours now. At times, I blame myself too. Have I not been letting him take the right moves, have I not been so easily convinced that he needed a friend like me, have I drew a line of friendship.. We might not have so close but still we would have been friends. Then, it hits me if such a person would even value friendship. I thank God even more for blessing me with a bunch of friends who have never failed me, who all have played and stayed in my life.

Aaron. Lessons have been learnt. To never simply trust guys for his words, no matter how a good guy he claims to be. To not be concerned over someone who does not deserve it. To refrain myself from exposing myself as to protect myself. In this whole experience, I've got to know more, see more of the kinds of people and maybe in the process, made myself a friend or two. There was nothing to lose, as long as I took the right moves and I am glad all of this happened. And I didn't know how to let go but this is it, you pulled the plug right out. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that he is not the one for me. And in God, I trust.

This drama made me realise that I simply invited drama into my life. This is childish and immature and so "I told you so" moment, but with this, I will grow away and be better. Mistakes are bound to be made. The more I make, the more I see and with that, life is always an adventure (:

I don't want to know you anymore.