I'm okay.

Every girl can dream. Can hope. And deep inside, I had a glimpse of hope that there was such thing as loyalty to love and promises. 

It is not until I see that love changes that I realised this hope was in me. Maybe it's not the time for me to experience true love yet. But it breaks knowing it doesn't exist, at least for now. 

No, I no longer have feelings for him. But selfishly I held on to his words and promises - that we would love each other silently. It's sad to know what reality is and how people can change their heart. Ironically I just said I have no feelings for him anymore and I say it's sad that people can change their heart. 

I feel that I no longer want to love anyone the way I loved before because it seems too risky. Either I do it whole heartedly or none at all. None at all seems like the right choice now. This whole experience took me on a roller coaster ride, and I honestly can't find much strength to  take the risks all over again. 

How do love happens. How will it overcome this fear I have now. I've got this feeling I will never love so deeply anymore.