It's crazy how much of a fan I can be towards all these idols. Back in high school, I always thought I would out grow this phase. And I thought I already did.
A girl can't have too much free time in her hands or she'll go around chasing dreams like this. So let me pen down my thoughts on this whole experience with kpop stars!
I started off with the regular ang moh boy bands back in primary. Then the fan In me truly grew when I was so in love with F4 when I just entered secondary. I don't even know where the love came from but I was just so hooked on them. I remembered being upset at not getting to attend their concert when they came to Malaysia to perform. Thinking back, it's just so funny. But one thing I gained from this is picking up mandarin. Because of F4, I started to have interest in the language and thanks to my then classmates, I can now quite fluently speak in mandarin *claps hands*
My family have never spoken mandarin or had anything to with that language but as I picked up, it's super useful now when everyone be it at the hawker or malls, people start speaking mandarin when they see me. Maybe I look very Cina la. If F4 didn't happen, I would have probably not learned the language. So thank you :D
Then from F4, I was once mad about 5566. And also Wu Zhun. I was a typical girl fan. And I fancied only boy bands!
Then Korean pop culture started taking over and all those Korean dramas led me having thoughts and fantasies of what romance should be. It's crazy how my mind and perception of love and relationship build on that. It gives hope but at the same time very unrealistic expectations of life
My first Korean craze I believe it's Kim Hyun Joong. Or not, I remembered a phase when Full House was the Korean drama. I was going goo goo over the second male lead, forgot his name. Then some other actors but the most "loyal" I've been was to KHJ. And then it grew to include CNBLUE Yong Hwa, then more recently Kim Woo Bin and currently, Jay Park. I find myself trapped thinking about them and googling about them. YouTube have been such a library to watch them in all their shows and stuff.
This is so not me yet it is me! On the surface, no one could guess what a fan I am. And how annoying and silly I can be talking about an idol, and all my dreams with him. Haha. To Estee: thanks for enduring all my crazy fantasies and lap sap that I talk about them ;) when I like one of this idols, I stalk, think about them big time.
My mind is constantly thinking about Jay Park now and I even added him on Instagram. My, the technology now makes you feel borderless with such celebs now. It's like you know them but in reality they don't know anything about you. It's a very weird feeling actually. Sometimes when I meet local celebs like let's say a radio announcer, I feel like I know what is he up to and things like that. But he doesn't acknowledge me, which is only real cause he has no idea who am I. It's creepy to be a public figure and put yourself out there.
Back to jay park, with technology I get learn a lot about him in a night. Where he came from, his background, what is he doing. It's crazy. Fans feel like they are one with their idol but they really need to understand that they are not. It's crazy how some girls can put everything aside for their idol. Supporting is one but get your life in check too.
I'm allowed to have all this thoughts now cause I have the time. When priorities kick in, it will be different then. For now, let me just dream about marrying this "perfect" namja. Loving these Korean idols means I learn the language *thumbs up*
Out.
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