Cloud over my head

There are 'those' days and today is one of those days.

At this point of life, any dispute between family members or friends makes me sad till tears. I'm becoming a worry what. Picturing things to be worse than what it is. I was very upset today but had to push aside all those thoughts and be practical about doing my uni work.

In such a short period, life have been constantly changing that I feel abit dizzy as to where and sometimes, even who I am. Family and girlfriends remain the same. But love interest have been putting my heart in a marathon. Everything happened in days and weeks.

I don't really care about what I say on the blog nowadays, it's really an outlet for me to pour all my emotions which is the product of me over thinking.

I miss zolfay. Alot. I miss his comfort. Though he wasn't an award wining boyfriend, he is the only one I had and loved. He was my source of sadness yet he is my pillar of comfort.

How do I know if my heart is cleared and healed? There's no return to zolfay cause the brain at last won the battle. I'm not looking for another guy, seems ironic since there was AA. I can't explain nor want to explain my intentions. It's all done. Days are passing. Time is ticking. Yet, I occasionally still can't let you go.